Relationships are fundamental components of our lives. They can provide a sense of happiness, security and fulfillment, but they can also lead to stress, anxiety and sadness.
There are two fundamental types of relationships: healthy and toxic. It's important to understand the differences between them to ensure that you're building healthy relationships and avoiding toxic ones that can damage your physical, emotional and social well-being.
When we build healthy relationships, there is a sense of balance and partnership.
Both parties are willing to be committed and respectful of each other.
When it's healthy, there's no fear of speaking up and expressing your needs and concerns, and so one encourages the other to be better on a daily basis.
Of course there are challenges, as in all relationships, but it's a question of awareness and dialog.
It's very difficult to live with toxic people, the more you live with them, the more they affect you and can affect your feelings, alter your energies and cause an uncomfortable state.
I think toxic relationships are characterized by a pattern of behaviors: abusive, manipulative and disrespectful, which can have a negative effect on mental and physical health.
These toxic relationships are not limited to love relationships; when we look clearly, we can see them on different levels.
Sometimes it has to do with childhood, with unconscious processes, and the person is not always aware of how much their attitudes affect the other.
There are toxic people in our work environment, in our group of friends, in our love relationships and in our family.
How do we live with these people? Are there toxic family members?
Families are often dysfunctional, but the person doesn't realize it. Toxic families are very complicated.
Because you can't avoid living together. It affects our quality of life. fact.
I believe that blood ties can't justify toxic situations within your family system, so there's no point in shaking up your emotions and psyche.
It's important to know how to spot the signs:
The lack of reciprocity: It should be a relationship of exchange, and sometimes you notice that it's a relationship based on interest. It should be give and take, but it's not.
Lack of presence: They are only present in good times, they disappear in difficult times.
The over-provider: the person who leaves family members emotionally helpless.
The person who never has any money: convinces you that you have to help, because if you don't, you're responsible for their failure.
The envious person in the family: The one who wants all your attention, but is angry about what you have.
Narcissistic fathers and mothers: They do a lot of damage to their children's lives.
That person in the family who has addictions: Alcoholism, drugs and the whole family tries to help. It's a delicate situation.
To a small degree, this can happen in all families. However, in a functional family, these situations can be reviewed and worked on.
It's important to become aware of the situations and realize how much they affect you, and thus establish your boundaries.
Set the limit with respect for each other's individuality, but let the other know that you understand what is being done.
Live together as much as necessary, learn to deal with it all and if the relationship is difficult, get away!
Many people become toxic through interaction, where one activates the other's life.
There is immaturity on both sides, which can make the relationship toxic.
Toxic and abusive people have in common an excessive personality, which damages the relationship and the people they live with.
These people turn family, work and life as a couple into a veritable roller coaster of conflict. They can't live in peace!
If you live with people like this, pay attention so that you are less affected.
What are the characteristics of these people?
- They cause continuous confusion.
- Constant outbursts of humor
- Never guilty of anything
- Always accuse others
The person transmits all the internal disorganization and brings it to the outside.
Relationships with such people will probably never be healthy. Don't expect them to change because of you.
Only when they realize this and seek help will there be any hope of change.
In my personal experience, I see how toxic relationships affect self-esteem and self-confidence, and how the dynamics of this type of relationship can make people feel devalued and insecure.
This is precisely where it becomes necessary to acquire awareness and thus establish healthy emotional boundaries.
I, you, we all need boundaries.
Building healthy emotional boundaries is an important process for our mental health. health.
To build healthy emotional boundaries, it's important to start by getting to know yourself well and understand what your emotional needs are and how you react to certain situations.
This involves paying attention to your emotions, and when you can't do this on your own, seek the help of a professional who will help you develop your self-knowledge.
I often say that life is pedagogical, it teaches us to learn to make new choices with possible healthy consequences.
Once you have a good understanding of yourself, you can start to define your emotional boundaries, setting clear limits for your interactions with others.
Notice behaviors that you don't accept and clearly communicate your expectations to the other person.
Example: This I want, this I don't want, this I can, this I can't and this I can, but I don't want to...
When someone oversteps your boundaries, it's important to be firm in a loving but assertive way and establish what you can live with and what you can't. It's a fundamental part of taking care of yourself. Maintaining healthy emotional boundaries requires constant work, but it's a fundamental part of taking care of yourself.
Learning to say no is important because it creates the condition to say yes to things you really want.
In other words, it's up to you to define your limits and be firm in maintaining them, this is your responsibility, it's a process.
These boundaries will help promote a greater sense of self-esteem and self-confidence, allowing you to create healthier and more balanced relationships. I'd like to leave you with some practical reflections to help you identify and get out of a toxic relationship:
1. Recognize the signs of a toxic relationship: This can include manipulation, verbal or physical abuse, constant criticism, lies and lack of respect. Once you recognize these signs, you can start working on ways to change the dynamics of the relationship.
2. Seek help: You don't have to face a toxic relationship alone. By seeking help from friends, family, or a therapist specializing in relationships, you can begin to work on your emotions and feel supported during the process of change.
3. Another thought: Set clear boundaries: When it comes to toxic relationships, it's important to set clear boundaries about what behavior is acceptable and what is unacceptable.
This can even limit contact or cut it off completely. You have the right to set your limits and ensure that they are respected.
4. Invest in your hobbies and interests: Investing in activities that make you happy and distract you from the toxic relationship, such as going for a walk, contemplating nature, watching the sunset, photographing landscapes and sending them to a friend... This helps to boost your self-esteem.
5. Be kind to yourself: Changing the dynamics of a toxic relationship can be challenging and emotionally demanding. It's important to remember to be kind to yourself and listen to your emotions and feelings.
Know that overcoming a toxic relationship is not easy, but it is possible. With time, patience and support, you can free yourself from the limitations that this type of relationship brings and move on with wisdom and confidence in yourself.
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